Sex Drive Depletion

Break ups and divorces are tough. Honestly it may take a while before you allow yourself to fully experience satisfactory intimacy .Couple that up with other relationship stressors ,you could end up feeling depleted , numb, and don’t want to be touched or even touch yourself.

I speak from experience. When I started back dating after a failed relationship, it was sexually tough for me. I wanted sex and to feel good but for the life of me I could not orgasm. Mind you Im very in tuned with myself. I had became one of those women who would enjoy a sexual encounter and then orgasm to the thought on my own. The problem was that I was a safe zone. I would let go with myself but didn’t trust the process of letting go with my partner…..

So how do you even attempt to get back to a point of feeling desire or orgasmic with a new partner?

First I will say that getting a coach, or psychologist can help a lot in the process. Just to have a unbiased person is a big help for your mental. Yes , I went this route and it was the thing for myself. It was work. When you unravel yourself ,you tend to find the “real” reasons behind your actions and behavior. Some of it you will like and some of it you won’t. This is what “Shadow Work” is.

In this time and space you will have to buckle down and love yourself with every breath you have. I call this this the detox and rebuild process.

-cry it out if you have to. Don’t hold back it’s better out then in and honestly it helps with healing. The tears will eventually stop.

-Journal your progress and thoughts. Like if you cried 3 times instead of 5. It’s progress. Celebrate the little steps.

-Get spiritual with it (pray ,meditate, connect with your higher power )

-Join a yoga class or local gym or do it from home ( being around others with goals help to motivate)

-Say Positive affirmations to yourself everyday! Seems cliché but this is actually very important for your mental health. If you tell yourself something enough you will start to believe it. So make it count!

Now before you can truly embrace sexual intimacy once again with someone new, I highly encourage having a sexual affair with yourself. This is how you can get back to experiencing satisfaction without pain.

-Touch your body. Focus on your body and love yourself MORE for the things you don’t like.

-Invest in a pleasure wand of your liking and dig deeper into self

-make time for yourself and the things that make you happy

This is not a easy process and this is the short version of healing. It takes time , patience ,love and WORK. But I assure you that if you give yourself a chance you can experience healthy intimacy once more.

If you are having a hard time finding your sexual desire in partners, or yourself, please feel free to contact me. It’s not easy, and sometimes we tend to be hard on ourselves. Sexual depletion is real. Never feel ashamed for going through it…